NPCs.

TW: depersonalization-derealization disorder, solipsism

I have a theory.

What if people who don’t want to get better are just vessels of chaos planted into our lives as challenges?

Abusers, disappointments, manipulators, arrogants—the thoughtless, inconsiderate, and cowards of the world. These are the people who, no matter what you do, refuse to improve. Whether it’s improving how they treat themselves or how they treat others, they won’t budge even when led directly toward the light.

They would rather remain in caustic darkness, rotting until their final days.

What if incredibly boring people are just filler occupying space to keep us grounded in reality?

Have you ever seen your neighbors bringing in groceries? These particular people never seem to have a life to talk about. Are they on pause when you aren’t around? Do they have complex thoughts or feelings? Why are they only capable of small talk?

Are they assigned to shadow you until you’re ready to move on, and then recycled into the next person’s life?

I don’t mean move on as in die. I mean graduate. Change jobs. Move across the country.

Are you always replaced?

What about your favorite people?

Are they sentient, or are they just your guardians clothed in rottable skin, helping you along your journey?

When they fall out of favor, did they stop being your guardian, or were they simply chaos in disguise? Were they always supposed to be a difficult lesson in loss? Are these people fragments of the same fallen star, predestined to meet you again?

I realize how fucking solipsistic this sounds.

Solipsism: the view or theory that the self is all that can be known to exist.

The opposite of sonder is solipsism. Sonder is the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.

And I think there’s something interesting about living somewhere between the two.

I’m not saying we live in the Matrix. But when you start living like life is inconsequential, stress becomes obsolete.

So what if you have a giant bill?

You’ll either pay it or you won’t.

That difficult conversation you have to have? Why does it matter what the outcome is?

I suppose this is very berry philosophical, because consequences are simply the result of an action, meaning they will always exist. But I think you can spin that to your advantage.

Before my friend died, I had sorta fallen into this weird demigod mindset that helped a lot with my confidence.

My thought process was basically: life is going to happen regardless.

You can panic about it. You can obsess over it. You can try to control every possible outcome.

Or you can shrug off some of the bullshit.

When you stop giving bad circumstances all of your power, some of that power gets handed back to you.

I wouldn’t be surprised if some of this indifference was a result of derealization, which is a feeling of detachment from your surroundings. People and objects can seem unreal. Literally fake.

I’ve touched on this before in my post about Nihilism.

And I think there’s a strange relationship between nihilism, solipsism, derealization, and confidence.

If nothing is inherently meaningful, then maybe everything is a little less scary.

If everyone is potentially an NPC, maybe their judgment matters a little less.

If everything feels unreal, maybe the consequences feel unreal, too.

Obviously, this isn’t exactly a recommended treatment plan for anxiety. Please do not go outside and start treating your coworkers like Sims.

But as a thought experiment?

It’s interesting.

Another spicy thought I’ve had:

We eventually become AI’s pets.

Because our pets used to run society.

😱

AKA: Nature vs. Technology.