Frustration.

I hate how my brain works sometimes. I'm fully aware that I have things to do, and what I need to do. I'll start doing them, remember I have something else to do, go start doing that—get distracted by a mess in a different room, need to go grab an item to put this item away, forget why I went to that room in the first place, walk back to the task at hand, AND THEN REPEAT THE PROCESS.

Sometimes I'm just so overwhelmed, my mind and body are exhausted and I don't feel like I can do anything until I rest first. So I nap, get up, achieve a couple of things (maybe), and then give myself the sweet treat of impermadeath.

Today, I am just very frustrated with myself that I'm still stuck in this cycle. I thought therapy went well for me today. Now I am unsure if I am an unreliable narrator. Part of me wants to cry and the other part wants to give me something to cry about. I don't understand why I am doing such a bad job. Why can't I move? I literally feel stuck.

I'm especially frustrated that I can't even work on things that I enjoy. I have projects here and there that I try to work on when I have the velocity of a good mood, but half the time I'm forcing myself to make the things. To prove I'm alive. To prove that I'm good and worthy, even when I can't do anything else right.

Stars, K.